Walk of Faith "Part I"

      I have been on an extreme walk or path of faith for almost a year now, by the time you hear this it may have been more than a year, you know our words go on through eternity! 

     I am currently laying in a hospital bed disappointed I wasn't able to set up a face time call with my husband, but that means I was given the opportunity to write my testimony. I don't need wi-fi for that! I was admitted to the hospital this time on September 19 because I had started running a fever and for someone in my situation a fever was a dangerous thing. But to keep from getting ahead of the full path walk that is my testimony I'm going to back up and start in 2019.

     For a few years, I have dealt with a health problem that several doctors and other medical experts were not able to help me with. I was told everything from the idea that I was depressed to the idea I was just getting old and would have to deal with the slow-down of my strength and energy. I did receive some medical treatments that no doubt would have helped if they were the sole issue but there was a deeper problem that none of them dug deep enough to find. I do have to admit I probably did appear depressed, I was grieving the loss of my mother, but that was in addition to what I was losing of myself! I knew I appeared as a woman facing life after "mid-life", to put it delicately! But this weariness was beyond normal aging, one of the current nurses I have dealt with in the last couple of days has told me I'm a fighter and I told her "yes, I am", I was not willing to just accept I was getting older and tired! I knew the Lord has things for me to do and this was not the time for me to lay down and take a nap! (even though I would have enjoyed that nap!)

     I found a doctor, I really believe the Lord led me to. This doctor was an internalist and she is like a Pitbull when she gets hold of a problem! She is good to her patient, but she goes after the problem! She was just changing her practice to work in her hometown down the road from my hometown. I had heard enough good reports about her that I set up the appointment with her. She requested blood work and lab tests to be run to look into the complaints that I had given her as my reason for my appointment. The blood work came back with suspicious questions but the test she had given me a “yucky” test to complete at home, it was one I easily put on a shelf and tried to forget. I finally completed it but not really to my best ability! I did not want to be involved in that yucky test! I returned it but drug my feet long enough it was not effective! I had to pick up supplies and do it again. This time I put it off until I saw the end of my "yearly deductible" about to hit time to start over, so I made myself get this test done before I had to pay another deductible! 

     I took the samples that they requested, causing her office to call me back to set up another appointment before that day was over! I went back the next day and had another blood test run and was advised I needed to go to the hospital immediately for a blood transfusion! Every time I seem to get a word like this my automatic response seems to be "Are you kidding me!?" and I can tell you now after all of this time they usually are not kidding!

     So I arranged to go to the hospital and receive a four-hour transfusion that would bring my blood count back up to a survival level, evidently, I was dangerously low in the parts that carried the life-giving oxygen to different parts of your body. 

     Part of me was not surprised by these turns of events, I had been in a conversation with my husband and had shared with him that I felt like I had been caught in an "undertow" that was pulling me away from life! We had lived at the beach so this was a very real thing we recognized, an undertow is powerful! Now I was being shown what caused the undertow that I was experiencing. 

     After my blood tests, transfusion, and other less desirable test results were examined I was given my diagnosis over the phone, but being a big chicken I was not able to put a name on it for my husband, I told him it was a blood disorder, which it was but at that point I knew a little bit more but I was not able to put the name on it that would cause him a deeper level of pain. The next day we went into the doctor's office and she gave the stomach punch diagnosis that I should have tried to soften, I was diagnosed with a blood cancer. My own bone marrow was trying to destroy the blood cells before they were able to do their life bringing job. (Isn't that just like our enemy? (wanting to destroy life!)

     Anyway, that began a dedicated walk of Faith for us! Lane and I know we are healed, through Jesus' stripes! Isaiah 53:5 but we also know that sometimes our faith has to be "walked out" spoken of as we know it is, not as it currently appears. Hebrews 11:1

     This new dedicated walk of Faith was a new maturity growth step for us and there are times when the Lord lets you surround yourself with prayer warriors but there are times you step out on the path with Him and Him alone. Remember when Jesus went into the desert after His baptism? It was Him and the Holy Spirit. This was a path for Lane and myself, we did share with a very few people that really needed to know, but it was very few! We probably appeared more like Hansel and Gretel wandering around than 2 of God's disciples, but we followed His path to the best of our abilities! We prayed we listened to doctors, we took each step we were advised to after praying about them. We already "knew" I was healed but how many steps did I need to go through to complete this path? We started regular blood work tests and chemo treatments, as chemo started I had to pull out of my regular activities because my immunity was being destroyed. We tried to be quiet in our steps but our Spiritual Family is a very loving family and it is hard to slip away from, so we shared I had a blood disorder I was being treated for. That bought more time and we naively thought we'd be done with this in a few months....let me tell you a faith walk can stretch out a long way! 

     The chemo treatments turned out to be more than a few months, they turned into 5-6 months, with me isolated at home, still sharing this path with very few people, but sharing it constantly with the Lord! Then we learned the whole point of this 5 to 6-month treatment was to prepare my body for the next step! "Are you kidding me!?!" No, they weren't kidding! 

     The next step was way more difficult and a length of time would be involved that made 5 to 6 months look easy! The next step could be a year!! Are you kidding me!!  NO! No kidding!! And still no release from the Heavenly Father to share this path with our Spiritual Family or physical family! I truly believe that He put it on some people's hearts to pray for us even though we weren't free to share it, He speaks to a lot of people, especially His intercessory prayer warriors!

     During all of this part of our path, a new enemy came to America, Covid-19. I kind of felt caught on a tightrope with an umbrella and a hurricane whipping up around me between the chemo and COVID-19. I was given the next step of the treatment, it was called a "Stem-Cell Transplant". At first, I was really concerned that the doctor had brought me to a point that I might have to reject immediately, I was aware that aborted baby parts were used in some medical procedures, this was a line I would not cross. My Oncologist Dr assured me I would use my own stem-cells and none others!

     I was really happy in that knowledge but blessedly blind to the process of harvesting my own stem-cells! Talking to my Oncologist Dr I was recommended to the Stem 

Cell Procedure Dr. in Oklahoma City. That meant an appointment at OU Medical in Oklahoma City. It is a prestigious Clinic, recommended by my Chemo Dr. 

     Lane and I prayed and followed the path to this next step. However, facing the Hurricane of CoronaVirus(COVID-19) we prayed an extra, extra lot about this. We both had to be in agreement, yes or no! This was a path for both husband and wife, not just one or the other. We had taken every step together and this would be the same. I did have nurses tell me that it was for me and that I had to do what was good for me, but as a Christian Couple, Lane and I are one! It had to work for both of us. We did pray and we felt the Lord had brought us to this and that the Corona Virus was not an issue to stop us at this point, there would be no "knowing" when it wouldn't be an issue and I had prepared for this next step for over 6 months now! We agreed to move forward! Path of Faith! 

     

Chapter 2 Stem-Cell-Transplant We called and arranged our information appointment at the Medical Center that would coordinate and perform the whole procedure. This did have a very surreal feeling to it in the fact that everyone was required to wear masks just to talk about going through a procedure that would remove every ounce of my immunities to any disease I had ever dealt with and we were wearing masks to deal with a new virus that nobody had immunities too! We were overcome with all of the info that the doctor and his team were giving us. Overcome with info overload and innocent ignorance we took the info they gave us and went home to pray about this choice ahead of us. The doctor's advice from both of the leading doctors we were dealing with was this Stem-Cell Transplant was the best and only choice for me. Facing that info and praying we did not get any hold back from God, it was time to move. The Stem-Cell Transplant process can be searched out and read about but let me tell you, it should not be entered lightly! The process changes so much about you, it can not be predicted how you will react. Their purpose is to delay any return of the Cancer that you fought. They can give you percentages of how likely that will be, but the side effects of the Chemo that is involved in the whole Transplant process can not be predicted. They test every aspect of your health and will not allow you to go through the process if they do not feel you are capable of surviving it and that is about what you are told, you will survive, oh, and you will lose your hair and feel horrible. I can tell you, all of that is quite true! I did survive the process, although at times I would have debated with you if I was alive. My hair almost melted instead of just falling out, but it did both, melted and fell. As I went through the process my self fulfilling body functions became the only part of me that kept going. I could not drag myself out of the hospital bed, I could not eat, could not drink, could not take any medicine by mouth....but I did pray when I was coherent. I prayed that I was under the Father's Wing and that He would protect me and keep me safe. I could see myself as a little helpless girl pulled back under His wing as far I could pull back! And protect me He did! The Doctor highly recommended me being sent home early to prevent a Hospital Pneumonia, which I have learned since then is an issue they do struggle with! I had felt that I was being drug through hell and just wanted out of there anyway. I was in a facility that did not do well caring for an individual that didn't fit with their program and that was me! After talking to Lane and even though we both knew I was not ready to be released to be cared for at home we agreed I was going home! I just wanted out of that hospital! It felt more like an escape than a hospital release! I had not been able to see Lane during all of this time because of the CoronaVirus Quarantine, and towards the end I was too sick to really talk to him on the phone for any length of time. The hospital was giving me pain medication and stress medication to relieve my pain and allow me to sleep. I just wanted out of there, whether I was ready to be at home or not seemed like it wasn't the issue. I had to escape that place before it was too late! After arriving home the couch was the furthest destination I was able to attain. I laid down and passed out. I really am not aware of even all of the rest of the details before there were some home health care people called in, I was told they did not expect me to live, but God did!! He was still protecting that little girl under His wing! I know Lane was tortured trying to do everything He was advised to do but yet he was still facing seeing his wife on the couch wondering if she would even live! I will ask him to write some for this area! ******* I do remember being woken up and moved to the backseat of our car, I think I know what a zombie in the movies feels like! I was moved to a local hospital where they moved quickly to save my life! It makes me cry now because I know God was in control and He put all of this in action, but these people were His instruments used to save that girl that looked to Him for safety! They had to move quickly to get me hydrated, to get my body functions moving correctly again! IVs were started, nurses stepped in, I was revived! It took almost a week to get me back on my feet, but they did it! I heard my first Doctor was the one that found my diagnosis was the one that stepped in and put me in the hospital and turned the whole downward spiral back into climbing towards life! I told you she went after a disease like a PitBull! She also fights for her patients, I know that she is definitely an important woman that the Lord uses in His battles against the schemes of the enemy. You know the enemy comes to kill, steal, and destroy, so you can see how valuable a Christian Doctor is to the Lord! Yes, the Lord does do miracles but He also uses people to perform His work! Anyway, this team of wonderful people was used to drag me back from the brink of death. When the first nurse that came to our house told me that she did not expect me to survive, the Lord showed me a Spiritual picture of myself and Him. It was a picture that went with Psalm 23, Yea though I walk through the Valley of the shadow of death....except He was carrying me! I could not in my own strength walk anywhere, especially through the Valley of the Shadow of Death, but when I could no longer walk, He carried me and I came out the other side, alive, still with a long path of Faith to walk out, but now I knew I had my part to do, but when I couldn't do anymore, He would carry me and/or bring His people to me that would minister. He had told me through a word in the beginning that this was "Not unto Death" my part was to walk it out by faith. I do need to admit even though I have walked it out in faith I have cried plenty of tears and plenty of "Pity Parties!" I'm not proud of them and I want to have those things out of my life but my flesh still has weak moments! After the recovery time at the local hospital, I reached a point that my Doctor felt I was able to go home and start my "After Stem-Cell Transplant" life and that's exactly what I did. I went home and moved into a small area of bed, restroom, and recliner where I spent my time. Daily I was trying to get some muscle strength back. Surprisingly it was a challenge to get myself into our bed, we had to arrange a stepstool and strap handle for me to manage this with! It turned out that some of my muscles were dealing with partial paralysis, my legs weren't quite working right! As they have woken up bit by bit I realize there are some muscles that I am going to have to work very hard to wake up, but I realize this is a walk of faith, and my faith is that the Lord will help me walk everywhere I need to go! If I am unable to walk there He may opt to carry me, but I really believe by the time this is over, I will be restored to Whole! I am the healed! His word promises it and I stand on that promise! Now onto the next Chapter~ Covid-19 Chapter 3 Covid-19 Are You Kidding Me?! No!! After slowly increasing in appetite and strength, and I do mean slowly something started not feeling right! Remember I have been in quarantine for months and months! I never dreamed I would be someone exposed to Corona/Covid-19! Within a short time, all of the appetite I had tried to build up to eat an egg a day and maybe a cup of soup was gone, the food smelled bad, looked bad, tasted bad, I could not even begin to eat it, the very things I had been learning to live on! Because I couldn't eat or drink I couldn't take my prescriptions either, all the things I needed to do to grow stronger and healthier were quickly growing out of my reach! I have become very in tune with stages in my body now, the reactions I have to different things in my world! One morning I woke up and didn't want to get out of bed, so I didn't. That was a bad reaction for me to give in to, something was definitely going wrong! Continued on next page~