What a relief!

     Yesterday was really tough for me, but maybe it was because I didn't spend any time in God's word. I suppose everyday I need to make sure what I take into my mind and spirit is healthy, just like I need to be careful what I eat and drink. I wouldn't expect to eat unhealthy foods and feel physically well, why do I think I can get by with junk food for my spirit? I need to not put so much of my attention on the headlines in our news reports and instead put more on my studying of scripture.
     On another thought, lately I've been dealing with confusion caused because I have been listening to a lot of different teachings and trying to assimilate them. This morning when I prayed I was shown John 3:8 "The wind blows where it wishes and you hear the sound of it but do not know where it comes from and where it is going, so is everyone who is born of the Spirit."
     The different teachings all have God manifesting in different ways in different lives, one is lifted in the air in front of their congregation, one has gold sprinkled on them in front of others, one is put into a trance and shown visions. I can list the things I understand about all of this pretty easily, compared to what I don't understand.
  1. I do understand these are men pressing into God, they are pursuing the Lord and His will,
  2. God has a unique relationship with each of them.
  3. I cannot duplicate their walk or their experiences with God.
     I have been taking a beating, self imposed, to try to be just like them. I need to relax, pursue God with my *whole heart, spirit, mind and body and let "the wind blow where it wishes". What a relief!
*Matt 6:33-34

Soften, Harden

     I wish I could claim credit for this saying, but in truth it was on my little thoughts for the day page.

     "The same sun that melts the wax hardens the clay."
    
      I want to be the wax, that gives to the trials and trainings that the Lord brings into my life, unfortunately I still have a flesh side that hardens and resists. Thank You Lord for bringing me along to Your side one step at a time, as You know I'm able to stretch and grow and when You know I need to rest and give me time to stop and consider and then step closer still to You.

Psalm 1:1-3

How blessed is the man who does not walk in the counsel of the wicked,
Nor stand in the path of sinners,
Nor sit in the seat of scoffers!
But his delight is in the law of the LORD,
And in His law he meditates day and night.
He will be like a tree firmly planted by streams of water,
Which yields its fruit in its season
And its leaf does not wither;
And in whatever he does, he prospers.

Blog, Were they just fishermen? John 1

     We always hear that Jesus used "fishermen and tax collectors", right? Recently I've been reading in the book of John for my study time and I'm realizing they weren't just "fishermen", these were men that were searching for their "Messiah".
     John and Andrew were disciples of John the Baptist who was *"a voice of one crying in the wilderness, MAKE STRAIGHT THE WAY OF THE LORD", so they were already seeking. When Jesus came to be baptized by John the Baptist the two(John and Andrew) recognized and started following him. Next they told Simon(Peter) "we have found the Messiah", Simon Peter understood immediately who they had found, he didn't question them, he KNEW who and what they had all been searching for!
     If they were just fishermen for their self support, they were more, they were also men hungry in their spirits for God. They were not only searching for God, they were men ready to drop everything to follow where He would lead, they weren't just living day to day, catching fish, selling fish, catching more fish, selling more fish.
     I can relate to these men much more than the idea of "just fishermen", these men were like many people I know now, people searching for God, eagerly waiting, hungering, pressing in. He can use all of us, if we seek Him and if we're willing to turn and follow where He leads.
*John 1:23
http://freespiritedwanderer.blogspot.com/

Dream, confirmation,

     The Lord has shown me something recently.  About 20 years ago He gave me a prophetic dream, I didn't use to know what a prophetic dream was but now I've learned to recognize them. Mine are dreams that stand out after I've had them they haunt me and I never quite forget them, even many years later and they have an unusual clarity to them.
     I've already written about this dream but now just want to speak about the importance of it. I'm finding that anyone that is moving, living, speaking or following the Lord(Jesus Christ) eventually someone has or will accuse them of being "False" or mislead or misguided or deceived. God has shown me in my "knower" (that part of me that recognizes the Lord is showing, teaching or speaking to me) that He gave me that dream around 20 years ago so that now when I'm growing into that calling or walk, I will recognize that I'm not mislead, He has prepared me for this walk and started the preparation many, many years ago. Pretty cool, hmm?

Roller Coaster, Bootcamp, Self-Forgiveness,

     We're on a roller coaster! We've received two prophetic words about our lives and that was it, they see us on a roller coaster. I can testify as one of the people living it, yes, it is a Roller Coaster! In the last few days I've received a few words of my own and one was that I'm in God's boot camp. I'm not where I wish to be, but I am being prepared for the things the Lord has for us to do.
     I was also shown that Lane was given a wife older than himself to help him mature at a faster pace than he would if he was married to a woman his own age (a lot like the metal sharpening metal idea). Along with being told of the Roller Coaster ride, we've been told several times that God is doing a fast work in us, preparing us more quickly than normal for the things He has ahead for us. Lane and I are more than willing to do the things God wants of us, as a matter of fact we're pressing in, saying "more, Lord, we want more".

     On a side note, I've been botherd recently with the knowledge that I have not been a good role model for my sons, or anyone else taking note of my life. God showed me that I could write a note to each of my sons, recognizing the things I've done wrong and ask them to please forgive me and to set aside anything they've seen me do and not think that it is the right way to live. This gave me a lot of peace and allowed me to forgive myself.

Conference

     We were able to attend the Glory and Fire Invasion Conference in Tulsa, Oklahoma this last weekend. The speakers, David and Stephanie Herzog, were vibrant and dynamic. They encouraged us all to live in the Glory of the Lord. I do feel that my walk with my Lord did advance and I am walking in a new dedication and dimension. John Mark Pool was also speaking and a great word of God was shared by him. The message that jumped out at me from John Mark's sharing was that we need to be willing to walk with the Lord and not look for or need praise from mankind. Actually if we are walking with the Lord there may not be a lot of praise forthcoming from others, but as long as we're pleasing God, our purpose has been met.

     On a personal note, we were able to spend the night at my mother's apartment and have lunch with Carol. Camron and Gypsy came for a visit the next day and we all went to the park. I even got to play "Hide and Go Seek" with Gypsy Lou, it was a great deal of fun. Her smiling face captures my heart!