Just a thought about marriage. With so many marriages ending in divorce a person has to wonder what has happened to cause this? A lot of time while I'm doing things like washing dishes, making the bed or cooking, my mind wanders to various subjects like, "why would our leaders want to give amnesty to a large group of law breakers?" or "why would our president and his advisers give orders to ""make life difficult"" for the citizens during the budget squabble?" or "why do homosexuals want the right to be married when so many marriages end in divorce?" or "why do so many marriages end in divorce?"
Today my answer for the divorce question was that so many people are not prepared for the reality of marriage. Women think it will be a great romantic adventure and don't consider that they will be picking up this man's dirty socks for the rest of their lives, and not only picking them up, but washing them, matching them and putting them back in his drawer to start the cycle all over again! Yikes! And the woman is probably not prepared for the fact that she will need to feed this man that she is promising to "love, honor and cherish" "until death do you part"! And surprise, he will want to eat everyday! and in order to do this daily feeding, and another surprise, it's usually 3 times a day that he will want to eat...but in order to do this, she will need to go to the grocery store to buy something to cook, bring it home, put it up and at the appropriate time pull it off of the shelf to prepare and serve, then clean up the mess that she made preparing it. This may not sound too challenging, but if she does do the cooking for every meal in the first month of wedded bliss she will have been responsible for 90 meals and all of the planning, fixing and cleaning up that is included with that. Multiply that out and it is 1,080 the first year. Yes they will go out to eat, so if you want you can divide it by half and she's only had to take care of 540 meals in the first year, while at the same time picking up the dirty socks and washing them, matching them and putting them back up. I guess the point is that there is a lot of drudgery that people are not expecting in the married life. If the husband is not extremely loving, appreciative and supportive the wife can easily turn bitter about her chores and blame someone or everyone and most likely it will be the wearer of the dirty socks!
I know a lot of people think we're supposed to be in a "new age" where the man takes care of his own socks, but realistically the woman needs to face the fact that in marriage she is the dedicated nurturer, and that includes feeding and caring for the family that she has, even if that's just a husband in the beginning. To fight this stereo type is a quick trip to divorce. If you want to argue this idea there's really no point in it, I'm only stating my opinion and you are free to have your own.
There is another side for the men too. You may think you're marrying a playmate, but you'll be surprised that she will go through cycles where playing is the last thing on her mind. After taking care of your laundry and cooking, sometimes she might want some "conversation". Your life may not be the same free agent life you used to live, your friends may have to take a backseat to your new life with your wife. Or you may have to turn the video game off. With a wife the usual progression is that you add a pet to your twosome, then along comes a baby and you need a house for the growing family. You have stepped into the world of a responsible man but many of you are not ready to be a responsible man. Many of you have married someone thinking they will make your life easier or they'll take care of you, but surprise! You are the one that is supposed to be responsible and support your wife and they are to fall under the umbrella of your care! That's a shockeroonie isn't it?! You are the one to shelter and support your wife not the other way around.
When all of the truths of real life hit these couples that have not been taught or prepared in any way by parents or grandparents to meet them, they are overwhelmed, they blame each other and then start looking for the next person that can live up to their expectations and make their fantasy world come true. They are not going to face the fact that real life is not a fantasy and if they don't want to deal with the drudgery part of marriage then they need to stay single and just take care of themselves. I keep thinking that until a woman is willing to take care of herself, she is in no way prepared to take care of a spouse. And until a man is willing to accept responsibility for caring for his wife, he is not ready either.
It always comes back to taking two to make marriage work, so consider before you marry and choose carefully. First choice, are you mature enough for marriage? Second choice, is your intended really someone that will go the extra mile with you?
