Saturday, August 31, 2019
Friday, August 30, 2019
Staying Clean
This morning I was doing some scrubbing and cleaning and the Lord used that time to teach me about our spirits. When we come to Him under Jesus' blood we are forgiven, but we still have grunge on us that we need to confess and be forgiven for.
Through the years I have gone through a lot of levels of repentance! The first thing I had to come to terms with was that I'm not free to say whatever comes to mind in every situation. I had to go to a lot of people and apologize before I got a grip on this one! I finally became so tired of apologizing that I learned to keep my mouth shut!
Today however during the scrubbing time the Lord was teaching me that our spirits are not a "one and done" cleaning item. We need to carefully take care to keep them clean daily! Daily!
In our lives, we do a lot of cleaning so we should be able to grab this concept. We wash our dishes after each use, we wash our clothing after wearing them. We vacuum, we dust, we mow lawns, we brush our teeth and our hair for example. When we look at these things it makes sense that we need to clean a lot of areas in our lives, so we need to be sure to not neglect cleaning our spirits too. That makes sense, doesn't it?
Next question then is how do we clean our spirits? Prayer is good! Praying and asking the Holy Spirit to shine His light into our spirits and show us any area that needs attention is excellent!
The Holy Spirit is the Teacher that Jesus told us would come to guide us, and He will guide us into cleaning our spirits or another word for it is sanctification. He is our Counselor, Comforter, and Corrector, so this is all in His job description! He will show us people we need to forgive, people that we need to ask to forgive us, habits we need to give up, wrong things we've said and done that we need to bring to the Lord and ask forgiveness for. Even after we've done this for a while, He'll dig further in our past and show us more that we will want to release and be cleansed from.
We will want to stay in a close relationship with the Holy Spirit, asking Him, how have I done today? Is there any area that I have fallen short in and need cleaning in? And then be quick to respond, don't hesitate, maybe we do need to release hurt or offense first and then be sure to give forgiveness, but do it, don't hold back.
Through the years I have gone through a lot of levels of repentance! The first thing I had to come to terms with was that I'm not free to say whatever comes to mind in every situation. I had to go to a lot of people and apologize before I got a grip on this one! I finally became so tired of apologizing that I learned to keep my mouth shut!
Today however during the scrubbing time the Lord was teaching me that our spirits are not a "one and done" cleaning item. We need to carefully take care to keep them clean daily! Daily!
In our lives, we do a lot of cleaning so we should be able to grab this concept. We wash our dishes after each use, we wash our clothing after wearing them. We vacuum, we dust, we mow lawns, we brush our teeth and our hair for example. When we look at these things it makes sense that we need to clean a lot of areas in our lives, so we need to be sure to not neglect cleaning our spirits too. That makes sense, doesn't it?
Next question then is how do we clean our spirits? Prayer is good! Praying and asking the Holy Spirit to shine His light into our spirits and show us any area that needs attention is excellent!
The Holy Spirit is the Teacher that Jesus told us would come to guide us, and He will guide us into cleaning our spirits or another word for it is sanctification. He is our Counselor, Comforter, and Corrector, so this is all in His job description! He will show us people we need to forgive, people that we need to ask to forgive us, habits we need to give up, wrong things we've said and done that we need to bring to the Lord and ask forgiveness for. Even after we've done this for a while, He'll dig further in our past and show us more that we will want to release and be cleansed from.
We will want to stay in a close relationship with the Holy Spirit, asking Him, how have I done today? Is there any area that I have fallen short in and need cleaning in? And then be quick to respond, don't hesitate, maybe we do need to release hurt or offense first and then be sure to give forgiveness, but do it, don't hold back.
Wednesday, August 28, 2019
Monday, August 26, 2019
God's Blessing Part 1 8/26/19
No matter whom you are or what your abilities and circumstances are, if you tap into the blessing of God; you will be thrust forward into a life of increase, multiplication, and destiny.
From a book I'm reading, A Time to Advance by Chuck Pierce
From a book I'm reading, A Time to Advance by Chuck Pierce
God's Blessing Part 2 8/26/19
The word "bless" or "blessing" is used 474 times in the Bible. That certainly tells us how significant blessing is to God. He wants us to understand and walk in blessing, not just for our own sake, but so we can demonstrate His kingdom by blessing others.
From a book I'm reading, A Time to Advance by Chuck Pierce
From a book I'm reading, A Time to Advance by Chuck Pierce
Friday, August 23, 2019
Bowing or Nodding? 8/23/2019
A lot of the praise songs we sing these days include the lines that we bow to the Lord. This morning the Holy Spirit was stirring in my thinking "what does that mean to you?". After considering the question for myself I now I ask you, what does bowing before the Lord and His throne mean to you?
Sometimes we casually sing songs without even slowing down to consider the full impact of the words we're mouthing. Let me tell you, the Lord does not take our words "casually".
There was a time in my life that I had gone my own way, I was not denying the Lord, but I was "pouting" because things weren't going the way I thought they should. So, I started calling my own shots. Everything was okay for a bit and then life really turned upside down on me!
When I came to my senses and turned back to the Lord, much as the prodigal son did, the Holy Spirit played the lyrics of a hymn I had sung in church years before. "Father I adore You, I lay my life before You!" These lyrics were not something I was thinking of on my own, the Lord was playing them back to me to remind me that I had given Him my life years before and I needed to get back to where I was at that time, back in relationship with Him. I tell you all of this just to let you know that whether you are speaking or singing words it doesn't matter, the Lord takes you seriously!
So now back to the question, when you sing that you are bowing before the Lord, are you seriously bowing? Do you submit to the Lord, to His purpose for you and your life, do you give Him all honor? Do you cease resisting Him and His purpose in your life? Or are you simply giving a head nod that you recognize His power, His creation, His purpose, and then moving on to do whatever it is that you want to do?
He is calling for you to submit to His purpose, to the calling He has on you and your life. He did not create you to watch you bow to the world or to your own desires and motivations, those only lead to your destruction.
Come back and consider, "when I bow to the Lord, am I truly submitting every area of my being?". It is a big question and deserves your careful consideration.
Sometimes we casually sing songs without even slowing down to consider the full impact of the words we're mouthing. Let me tell you, the Lord does not take our words "casually".
There was a time in my life that I had gone my own way, I was not denying the Lord, but I was "pouting" because things weren't going the way I thought they should. So, I started calling my own shots. Everything was okay for a bit and then life really turned upside down on me!
When I came to my senses and turned back to the Lord, much as the prodigal son did, the Holy Spirit played the lyrics of a hymn I had sung in church years before. "Father I adore You, I lay my life before You!" These lyrics were not something I was thinking of on my own, the Lord was playing them back to me to remind me that I had given Him my life years before and I needed to get back to where I was at that time, back in relationship with Him. I tell you all of this just to let you know that whether you are speaking or singing words it doesn't matter, the Lord takes you seriously!
So now back to the question, when you sing that you are bowing before the Lord, are you seriously bowing? Do you submit to the Lord, to His purpose for you and your life, do you give Him all honor? Do you cease resisting Him and His purpose in your life? Or are you simply giving a head nod that you recognize His power, His creation, His purpose, and then moving on to do whatever it is that you want to do?
He is calling for you to submit to His purpose, to the calling He has on you and your life. He did not create you to watch you bow to the world or to your own desires and motivations, those only lead to your destruction.
Come back and consider, "when I bow to the Lord, am I truly submitting every area of my being?". It is a big question and deserves your careful consideration.
Friday, August 16, 2019
Team Player? 7/14/11
Why does it appear that some are able to work as a team easily and then there are others. The others don't play well with "others". To walk the path that God wants people on, it often takes walking as part of a team. Coming to terms with that is a challenge for myself, I guess it's an opportunity for growth!
Prayer, Lane
We went to the House of Hope and Healing today, asking for prayers for our finances. The House of Hope and Healing has a wonderful atmosphere of serenity. The house was built only for prayer and has never been used for any other purpose. It is anointed and dedicated to God's use for prayer. A woman named Monica and Phylis were the prayer warriors that prayed for us, first for our finances and also for my health and energy. She prayed for unity for Lane and myself, for God to pour into us all of the things we need, for favor in Lane's work area, for us to dig our heels in and push through as we came to be part of the church. The prayer was very encouraging and uplifting. Lane had come home from work and was discouraged because they told him he had to cut his hair and whiskers, this was what he needed.
**Update: Lane didn't have to cut his hair or whiskers! The supervisor that had been visiting the restaurant came another time and observed Lane working. The customers were all pleased with Lane's service and the supervisor relented and shook his hand and told him that he would be fine.
**Update: Lane didn't have to cut his hair or whiskers! The supervisor that had been visiting the restaurant came another time and observed Lane working. The customers were all pleased with Lane's service and the supervisor relented and shook his hand and told him that he would be fine.
Monday, August 5, 2019
Disapproval 2009
What is it that pushes us to conform? Some of us are able to break away and not worry what anybody else thinks, and some of us think we have accomplished the "break" until we're faced with a situation that has us under someone else's scrutiny.
We are able to break free from the desire to impress others sometimes, but there are people in the world that we want to impress or at least have their good opinion, so we find ourselves vulnerable to their opinions.
Recently we had houseguests that I would love to have think the best of me, but it isn't always possible to influence other peoples opinion. Many people have different values in life and therefore are not truly able to understand each other, the best we can hope for is to "agree to disagree". I recognized that my style left them a little uncomfortable, which in turn left me to meditate on this question, "why can't we be happy in who we are"?
Shouldn't we be happy to think "Ahhh, thank goodness for differences? At least we don't look around and see everyone else as a mirror reflection of ourselves", but instead, we think, "why can't I be more like them?" It can cause us to feel disappointed in ourselves.We are able to break free from the desire to impress others sometimes, but there are people in the world that we want to impress or at least have their good opinion, so we find ourselves vulnerable to their opinions.
Recently we had houseguests that I would love to have think the best of me, but it isn't always possible to influence other peoples opinion. Many people have different values in life and therefore are not truly able to understand each other, the best we can hope for is to "agree to disagree". I recognized that my style left them a little uncomfortable, which in turn left me to meditate on this question, "why can't we be happy in who we are"?
I want to be me, I am me, I don't really want to be like them, I just want them to accept me. It probably is an illusion that people "accept" someone different from themselves anyways, maybe it's more accurate to say they "tolerate" them. I want to be the person that is strong enough to stand alone against disapproving looks, I want to be true to myself, I want to follow my North Star. I always come back to shrugging off the looks, the feelings of disapproval and telling myself it doesn't matter, but really it causes a part of myself to shrivel up and hide.
Life at This Time, February 18, 2011
I thought I'd try to give you a glimpse into our lives, I realized that everyone seems to slip into their own worlds and it is important to us that you know what we're doing in ours. Lane is working at Cracker Barrel(the only Cracker Barrel in Tulsa, OK!) as a server and I stay at our "home" while he's working. With my free time I've been making jewelry, crocheting, reading, studying, homemaking and resting. I seem to need a lot of rest to stay up with our schedule! Lane's work schedule changes each week and he is scheduled anywhere between 7 AM and 11 PM, during the recent blizzard his job really went through a difficult time for us. The blizzard caused the restaurant to close and when open it had few customers. His income is strictly customer-driven, so no customers means no income!
Our "home" is currently within the home of a wonderful Christian family, David (father), Lorrie (mother) and Matthew (10-year old homeschooled son). In the family of God, there are many gifts and callings (some I've not been aware of before), the Leathers calling is "Hospitality". Hospitality is a calling and desire to share your home with others who are walking in God's will and desiring to advance His kingdom. They have had people previous to us, and I'm sure they will have others after we're gone. But they feel led to provide a place for us to live while we're seeking God's will in our lives, this provision has really removed a strain from us.
There have been other instances of God working in our lives such as these last 2 weeks, during and after the blizzard. The time of "no money" for us! A minister at our church that reaches out to the homeless has been given food for his outreach, he is not able to use some of the food because it needs refrigeration and God directed him to give it to those of our congregation, including us. We were really thankful for that and received it gladly, then during last week's Friday service, Lane was approached by one of the men and told that God had directed him to give an "offering" in our name, he handed Lane an envelope with money that was for us to give to the Lord, "our" offering. It amazed us that the Lord even provided for us to give back to Him! Then another man came to Lane and handed him some cash and told him that God had told him to do that, the money wasn't a large amount, but it all adds up and is a testimony to God's providing.
The main point of all of sharing these things is that we are learning to walk by faith. We have had it so ingrained in our thinking that we are independent beings and go where we want and do what we want that it is a big learning time for us! Recently Lane had wanted me to go to a women's conference in Kansas City (while I was somewhat excited about it, I wasn't really sure of my complete feelings), Lane and I prayed that if God wanted me to go, that He would need to provide enough tips for the extra expense of the trip. Lane's tips dropped off to the least he had had since he had been working as a server! In our worldly wisdom, we would say "OK, God doesn't want me to go". I informed the group that had invited me to go with them that "evidently this wasn't the year for me to attend", but that "I would be praying for them"! The next morning (very early in the morning) I received a call from my pastor, asking if money was my only issue with the conference, I told them "yes" and they said "then you're going!". Then I realized how much I had truly wanted to go, I was so excited! One of the pastors at my church had been ministering with a woman that had received an unexpected sum of money, she wanted to tithe from the money to our church and specifically for the group going to the conference! So, God did provide and it wasn't through the tips Lane would earn! A lesson learned! Walking by faith means not telling God how to do His job!
We have attended different services at different churches and want to attend even more in Tulsa. We had not realized the rich spiritual life available in Tulsa! There are bible schools and churches offering classes and speakers from the nation. Our weekly schedule currently includes 2 classes, one is "Breaking Free" on Tuesday evening and the other is "Healing the Heart" on Thursday evening. We try to attend a service at our church on Friday nights, (Wind and Fire Service) and Sunday morning (Outpouring worship service) there also. There is not a Sunday evening service there, but there is one available at another church (Open Bible Fellowship, where we are taking the classes) where we really enjoy attending, so we try to go to it also. All of the services are according to Lane's schedule, but his employer has made arrangements for him to be off for our classes and Sunday mornings.
The classes we're taking are prerequisites to any other classes we want to attend here in Tulsa at Firestorm School of Ministry. However, we have found a school in Kansas City (World Revival Church) that may be a possible future training place, depending on God's leading.
These are our current classes:
BREAKING FREE- Do you find yourself struggling with the same issues, same health problems, and same personal conflicts? Chances are likely you may have "open doors," allowing the demonic to have access to your life, your family, and your destiny. The enemy has trespassed into your life, gained legal access, and has harassed and hindered you for years, perhaps even your family line for generations. Through the teaching presented in this class, you will be able to determine if deliverance is needed, where the "open doors" are in your life, and how to gain and maintain your deliverance. In addition, you will learn about the "sixteen strongmen" listed in Scripture, and how to kick them out. In Breaking Free, you will receive ministry, hands-on training for kicking out demonic tormentors, and a chance to start clean. The truth of the matter is this: just as everyone needs to wash their car from time to time, everyone needs a spiritual cleaning. Christians can have demons and unless one takes the necessary steps to "clean house," one will never be able to enjoy life to its fullest and obtain their full destiny.
HEALING OF THE HEART AND SPIRIT- Have you been a Christian for some time, or even a new Christian, and wounds and hurts from your past still haunt you? Perhaps bad things or poor relationships just seem to be a normal part of your life. Then Healing of the Heart and Spirit is for you. This two-part class has been developed to help you be set free from your past. Topics include: Truth and Consequences, The Importance of Forgiveness, Father and Mother Issues, Finding Father, Breaking & Overcoming the Chains of Rejection, Abandonment and Rejection, Orphans to Sons, Performance Orientation, Basic Trust, Hearts of Stone & Inner Vows, Bitter Root Judgments & Expectancy, Parental Inversion, The Slumbering Spirit, and Healing of Prenatal Wounds.
Lane has a dedicated home bible study time which has grown in length and intensity as he walks closer with God. He has an area set up with all of his concordances, bibles and study books and withdraws to it every morning before anything else gets in the way. My time is a little different because I'm at home a lot. I've thought that I was spending all day in my area with God, but I've realized that just because something is "possible" doesn't make it so. Sometimes Lane and I are in the same room for extended times, but that doesn't mean we're spending time "together", so I'm making an effort to continually be aware of walking with God, of praying more consistently. I do normally always have a praise CD or praise music streaming from online. I try to remain sensitive to being led, and I have had several times in our rooms of God meeting me here palpably. Those times are very powerful and life-changing. I have written those encounters in other notes and will get them typed up and included here soon.
While Lane has his own encounters with God, I'm only really qualified to share my own. While at church and in praise, I always close my eyes and lift my hands, my body sways as the tall grass in a gentle breeze does, it's as if it has a mind of its own. When praising, it's as if I leave this realm and enter a special area created for spirit(I do always ask God to come inhabit our praise). Sometimes my mind tries to chatter, but I keep praising until my mind quiets and I am able to just "be". Then at this level of praise, God meets me there, very gently. I've spoken to a woman that has walked with God for many years and is able to recognize His different voices, the voice of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. I'm not that good yet! I know God speaks to me and I have been given images. Sometimes I know it's the Holy Spirit, because the Spirit is my teacher according to scripture, and at night I will wake up and recognize that I have been learning or praying. I've woken up praying in the Spirit. One night I woke up from "a teaching", I was so excited that I wanted to wake Lane and share with him what I had just learned, but of course, I realized he needed his sleep. The lesson I had learned that night was that I was praying wrong, I kept asking and asking for things I wanted God to do. but I was shown that God has already done all things and that I needed to reach in and take. I was shown to take and tell God "thank you!" I started telling God thank you for everything I had been asking for, Thank You for the strong Christian man You're raising Camron to be, thank You for bringing Luke to the fullness of the man You have designed him to be, thank You for the mighty woman of God that Gypsy is going to be.....then I started putting my hand to my body and telling Him thank You for the health You're pouring into my body! I was so excited I was telling God thank You for everything. Later when I tried to explain it to Lane it wasn't so easy, but I finally came onto a visual that helped. I told him it was like we're standing by a waterfall and asking God "please give me a drink of water", but God wants us to reach into the waterfalls with our cup and take all we need! He has already given it to us, we are the ones holding ourselves back. Even as I have prayed since then, it's not always easy to grasp this, but I know it's truth and I pray for God to help me completely incorporate it into my life.
A time at church when I don't know which of the persons of God was teaching me showed me a visual, in the visual, I learned of God's love for me (He has been working a lot to help me understand His love). The visual was me as a dirty, grubby child that had been outside playing in the dirt and running into their father that was in the middle of a meeting. My father was wearing white robes and very distinguished looking, with a lot of other men gathered around him, listening to him and seeking his counsel. My Father, even though wearing white and being busy, welcomed me to His lap, He let me climb into His lap and sit there quietly while He continued His business discussion. He had one arm lovingly wrapped around me, not even worrying about my grubbiness or the dirt rubbing off on Him and used the other arm and hand to point to important papers and maps on the table between Him and the other men. The other men never batted an eye at my appearance, as if it happened often that I would sit in my Fathers lap. I sat there quietly feeling so loved, cherished and valued!
The next visual I received like this was a few weeks later and it was of me dressed in a bride's dress, I was dancing with my Father (God), He put the same loving arms around me and held me so gently, so proudly. He would press me to put my head on His shoulder and relax but I would start crying and slip back to a child image of dancing by putting my feet on my Father's feet, we danced that way for a few moments then I transformed back into the bride again. I changed back and forth a few times as the tears would start to overwhelm me. I believe I am the child until I can have the same comfort level dancing as the bride with my head on my Father's shoulder as I have sitting on His lap. That is my goal, to be the bride, dancing with the Father, ready for the Groom! To reach that level I have healing that needs to be completed. I have learned through my walk with God that life with Him is not about a battle between good and bad, it's a love story of the Father for His children.
Our "home" is currently within the home of a wonderful Christian family, David (father), Lorrie (mother) and Matthew (10-year old homeschooled son). In the family of God, there are many gifts and callings (some I've not been aware of before), the Leathers calling is "Hospitality". Hospitality is a calling and desire to share your home with others who are walking in God's will and desiring to advance His kingdom. They have had people previous to us, and I'm sure they will have others after we're gone. But they feel led to provide a place for us to live while we're seeking God's will in our lives, this provision has really removed a strain from us.
There have been other instances of God working in our lives such as these last 2 weeks, during and after the blizzard. The time of "no money" for us! A minister at our church that reaches out to the homeless has been given food for his outreach, he is not able to use some of the food because it needs refrigeration and God directed him to give it to those of our congregation, including us. We were really thankful for that and received it gladly, then during last week's Friday service, Lane was approached by one of the men and told that God had directed him to give an "offering" in our name, he handed Lane an envelope with money that was for us to give to the Lord, "our" offering. It amazed us that the Lord even provided for us to give back to Him! Then another man came to Lane and handed him some cash and told him that God had told him to do that, the money wasn't a large amount, but it all adds up and is a testimony to God's providing.
The main point of all of sharing these things is that we are learning to walk by faith. We have had it so ingrained in our thinking that we are independent beings and go where we want and do what we want that it is a big learning time for us! Recently Lane had wanted me to go to a women's conference in Kansas City (while I was somewhat excited about it, I wasn't really sure of my complete feelings), Lane and I prayed that if God wanted me to go, that He would need to provide enough tips for the extra expense of the trip. Lane's tips dropped off to the least he had had since he had been working as a server! In our worldly wisdom, we would say "OK, God doesn't want me to go". I informed the group that had invited me to go with them that "evidently this wasn't the year for me to attend", but that "I would be praying for them"! The next morning (very early in the morning) I received a call from my pastor, asking if money was my only issue with the conference, I told them "yes" and they said "then you're going!". Then I realized how much I had truly wanted to go, I was so excited! One of the pastors at my church had been ministering with a woman that had received an unexpected sum of money, she wanted to tithe from the money to our church and specifically for the group going to the conference! So, God did provide and it wasn't through the tips Lane would earn! A lesson learned! Walking by faith means not telling God how to do His job!
We have attended different services at different churches and want to attend even more in Tulsa. We had not realized the rich spiritual life available in Tulsa! There are bible schools and churches offering classes and speakers from the nation. Our weekly schedule currently includes 2 classes, one is "Breaking Free" on Tuesday evening and the other is "Healing the Heart" on Thursday evening. We try to attend a service at our church on Friday nights, (Wind and Fire Service) and Sunday morning (Outpouring worship service) there also. There is not a Sunday evening service there, but there is one available at another church (Open Bible Fellowship, where we are taking the classes) where we really enjoy attending, so we try to go to it also. All of the services are according to Lane's schedule, but his employer has made arrangements for him to be off for our classes and Sunday mornings.
The classes we're taking are prerequisites to any other classes we want to attend here in Tulsa at Firestorm School of Ministry. However, we have found a school in Kansas City (World Revival Church) that may be a possible future training place, depending on God's leading.
These are our current classes:
BREAKING FREE- Do you find yourself struggling with the same issues, same health problems, and same personal conflicts? Chances are likely you may have "open doors," allowing the demonic to have access to your life, your family, and your destiny. The enemy has trespassed into your life, gained legal access, and has harassed and hindered you for years, perhaps even your family line for generations. Through the teaching presented in this class, you will be able to determine if deliverance is needed, where the "open doors" are in your life, and how to gain and maintain your deliverance. In addition, you will learn about the "sixteen strongmen" listed in Scripture, and how to kick them out. In Breaking Free, you will receive ministry, hands-on training for kicking out demonic tormentors, and a chance to start clean. The truth of the matter is this: just as everyone needs to wash their car from time to time, everyone needs a spiritual cleaning. Christians can have demons and unless one takes the necessary steps to "clean house," one will never be able to enjoy life to its fullest and obtain their full destiny.
HEALING OF THE HEART AND SPIRIT- Have you been a Christian for some time, or even a new Christian, and wounds and hurts from your past still haunt you? Perhaps bad things or poor relationships just seem to be a normal part of your life. Then Healing of the Heart and Spirit is for you. This two-part class has been developed to help you be set free from your past. Topics include: Truth and Consequences, The Importance of Forgiveness, Father and Mother Issues, Finding Father, Breaking & Overcoming the Chains of Rejection, Abandonment and Rejection, Orphans to Sons, Performance Orientation, Basic Trust, Hearts of Stone & Inner Vows, Bitter Root Judgments & Expectancy, Parental Inversion, The Slumbering Spirit, and Healing of Prenatal Wounds.
Lane has a dedicated home bible study time which has grown in length and intensity as he walks closer with God. He has an area set up with all of his concordances, bibles and study books and withdraws to it every morning before anything else gets in the way. My time is a little different because I'm at home a lot. I've thought that I was spending all day in my area with God, but I've realized that just because something is "possible" doesn't make it so. Sometimes Lane and I are in the same room for extended times, but that doesn't mean we're spending time "together", so I'm making an effort to continually be aware of walking with God, of praying more consistently. I do normally always have a praise CD or praise music streaming from online. I try to remain sensitive to being led, and I have had several times in our rooms of God meeting me here palpably. Those times are very powerful and life-changing. I have written those encounters in other notes and will get them typed up and included here soon.
While Lane has his own encounters with God, I'm only really qualified to share my own. While at church and in praise, I always close my eyes and lift my hands, my body sways as the tall grass in a gentle breeze does, it's as if it has a mind of its own. When praising, it's as if I leave this realm and enter a special area created for spirit(I do always ask God to come inhabit our praise). Sometimes my mind tries to chatter, but I keep praising until my mind quiets and I am able to just "be". Then at this level of praise, God meets me there, very gently. I've spoken to a woman that has walked with God for many years and is able to recognize His different voices, the voice of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. I'm not that good yet! I know God speaks to me and I have been given images. Sometimes I know it's the Holy Spirit, because the Spirit is my teacher according to scripture, and at night I will wake up and recognize that I have been learning or praying. I've woken up praying in the Spirit. One night I woke up from "a teaching", I was so excited that I wanted to wake Lane and share with him what I had just learned, but of course, I realized he needed his sleep. The lesson I had learned that night was that I was praying wrong, I kept asking and asking for things I wanted God to do. but I was shown that God has already done all things and that I needed to reach in and take. I was shown to take and tell God "thank you!" I started telling God thank you for everything I had been asking for, Thank You for the strong Christian man You're raising Camron to be, thank You for bringing Luke to the fullness of the man You have designed him to be, thank You for the mighty woman of God that Gypsy is going to be.....then I started putting my hand to my body and telling Him thank You for the health You're pouring into my body! I was so excited I was telling God thank You for everything. Later when I tried to explain it to Lane it wasn't so easy, but I finally came onto a visual that helped. I told him it was like we're standing by a waterfall and asking God "please give me a drink of water", but God wants us to reach into the waterfalls with our cup and take all we need! He has already given it to us, we are the ones holding ourselves back. Even as I have prayed since then, it's not always easy to grasp this, but I know it's truth and I pray for God to help me completely incorporate it into my life.
A time at church when I don't know which of the persons of God was teaching me showed me a visual, in the visual, I learned of God's love for me (He has been working a lot to help me understand His love). The visual was me as a dirty, grubby child that had been outside playing in the dirt and running into their father that was in the middle of a meeting. My father was wearing white robes and very distinguished looking, with a lot of other men gathered around him, listening to him and seeking his counsel. My Father, even though wearing white and being busy, welcomed me to His lap, He let me climb into His lap and sit there quietly while He continued His business discussion. He had one arm lovingly wrapped around me, not even worrying about my grubbiness or the dirt rubbing off on Him and used the other arm and hand to point to important papers and maps on the table between Him and the other men. The other men never batted an eye at my appearance, as if it happened often that I would sit in my Fathers lap. I sat there quietly feeling so loved, cherished and valued!
The next visual I received like this was a few weeks later and it was of me dressed in a bride's dress, I was dancing with my Father (God), He put the same loving arms around me and held me so gently, so proudly. He would press me to put my head on His shoulder and relax but I would start crying and slip back to a child image of dancing by putting my feet on my Father's feet, we danced that way for a few moments then I transformed back into the bride again. I changed back and forth a few times as the tears would start to overwhelm me. I believe I am the child until I can have the same comfort level dancing as the bride with my head on my Father's shoulder as I have sitting on His lap. That is my goal, to be the bride, dancing with the Father, ready for the Groom! To reach that level I have healing that needs to be completed. I have learned through my walk with God that life with Him is not about a battle between good and bad, it's a love story of the Father for His children.
Thursday, August 1, 2019
What Can I Do For You? February 13, 2011
I attended a church service Friday evening(at Open Bible Fellowship, Tulsa). During the praise time, I always close my eyes, lift my hands and imagine meeting God in our praise, because His word says He inhabits the praise of His people. During the time I meet Him in our praise, I get to feel Him minister to me as well as me praising Him. This Friday He asked me what He could do for me?
During my recent walk, He has been doing a lot of emotional healing within me, I have been cared for so carefully as His "daughter of joy"(the name comes from another experience) and had to search hard to find anything left that I could bring to Him to do for me. I found the oldest memory I have, as a very young child that was asking my mother to rock me. My mother while not negligent had her hands very full, she was a homemaker and mother of four and she still held a "full-time job". I had a sister 2 1/2 years younger than me and as a baby needed more attention than me as a toddler. I really don't know how old I was, but I was young enough that I could lay in the chair crossways and rock myself (that is pretty young!).
I did rock myself at that time, and I think I started a pattern of independence then that God has worked to overcome in me. I have been a very strong, independent woman through my life and always proud of it. Friday night, when asked what He could do for me, I brought that need to be rocked with loving arms holding me to God, Abba, He held me and rocked me as I had needed as a young girl. I soaked and absorbed His love, His loving arms holding me and His tender care.
This is not how I had grown up seeing God and it is a whole new relationship for me. I don't remember ever not believing in Jesus, but to experience God as this loving Father is a wonderful part of my walk as His child that I had never known.
I shared this experience with my husband and he told me he had just read in scripture where Jesus had asked: "what can I do for you?" (the same words I had heard) and the blind man He was speaking to asked to "be made to see". After that, I thought "Jesus asked what He could do for me, and I selfishly asked to be rocked". I criticized myself for being so selfish and small-minded. I could have asked for more of Him, I could have asked for more wisdom, more love for my fellow questers, world peace! more everything! and all I wanted was to be held and rocked!
Sunday evening we went to another service and during the praise-singing, the minister said that this was the first time he had been led to do this, but he wanted us all to be quiet and close our eyes and ask God what He wanted to say to us. In that time, God told me that He wanted me to quit worrying about asking to be rocked, that that was what I had needed and that was what He wanted to do. I said, but what about all of these other things, more wisdom, more love, more understanding, He said "no, those things will come in time", if you will trust Me and follow Me in faith, I will tell you when to ask for more. This is what you need now. You are My baby girl", I tried to push the thought away as if it was my imagination, but God pushed it back to me and said "No, this IS for you! You are My baby girl I will love you and care for you and show you My love" and He repeated that IF I would follow Him in trust( I was even given a visual image of walking in His footsteps, like a little girl following her father's steps) He would take me into more in the due time.
.
During my recent walk, He has been doing a lot of emotional healing within me, I have been cared for so carefully as His "daughter of joy"(the name comes from another experience) and had to search hard to find anything left that I could bring to Him to do for me. I found the oldest memory I have, as a very young child that was asking my mother to rock me. My mother while not negligent had her hands very full, she was a homemaker and mother of four and she still held a "full-time job". I had a sister 2 1/2 years younger than me and as a baby needed more attention than me as a toddler. I really don't know how old I was, but I was young enough that I could lay in the chair crossways and rock myself (that is pretty young!).
I did rock myself at that time, and I think I started a pattern of independence then that God has worked to overcome in me. I have been a very strong, independent woman through my life and always proud of it. Friday night, when asked what He could do for me, I brought that need to be rocked with loving arms holding me to God, Abba, He held me and rocked me as I had needed as a young girl. I soaked and absorbed His love, His loving arms holding me and His tender care.
This is not how I had grown up seeing God and it is a whole new relationship for me. I don't remember ever not believing in Jesus, but to experience God as this loving Father is a wonderful part of my walk as His child that I had never known.
I shared this experience with my husband and he told me he had just read in scripture where Jesus had asked: "what can I do for you?" (the same words I had heard) and the blind man He was speaking to asked to "be made to see". After that, I thought "Jesus asked what He could do for me, and I selfishly asked to be rocked". I criticized myself for being so selfish and small-minded. I could have asked for more of Him, I could have asked for more wisdom, more love for my fellow questers, world peace! more everything! and all I wanted was to be held and rocked!
Sunday evening we went to another service and during the praise-singing, the minister said that this was the first time he had been led to do this, but he wanted us all to be quiet and close our eyes and ask God what He wanted to say to us. In that time, God told me that He wanted me to quit worrying about asking to be rocked, that that was what I had needed and that was what He wanted to do. I said, but what about all of these other things, more wisdom, more love, more understanding, He said "no, those things will come in time", if you will trust Me and follow Me in faith, I will tell you when to ask for more. This is what you need now. You are My baby girl", I tried to push the thought away as if it was my imagination, but God pushed it back to me and said "No, this IS for you! You are My baby girl I will love you and care for you and show you My love" and He repeated that IF I would follow Him in trust( I was even given a visual image of walking in His footsteps, like a little girl following her father's steps) He would take me into more in the due time.
.
New House 8/31/2009
We are in the process of taking possession of our new home. Of course, we'll always be global citizens and at home in the Universe, but we're going to have a new place to hang our hats and sun visors, a new place to kick off our flip flops and lean our walking sticks. A new place to display our seashells, rocks, and pine cones. A new place to warm by a fire during the snowstorms and to find shade during the blistering heat of summer. Need I go on?
Our new home is going to be a work in progress, it has been a beautiful house at one time, but it's fallen under severe neglect and abuse. We'll be trying to keep everyone updated with the steps we go through with this blog.
We're supposed to take ownership of the house on September 15, 2009. The people that we purchased the house from were in the process of remodeling it and had a family emergency that has caused them to sell. They had already pulled all of the carpeting out of the house, removed the plumbing fixtures from the upstairs bathroom, knocked out some walls and removed some doors. The people that had the house previous to them(and abused it) caused flooding in the basement that left mold issues. They also let the rain guttering fill with leaves, which caused dry rot problems from not draining properly, and I'm not sure why but some of the screens and storm windows are missing. Why are the screens and storm windows always abused? They're one of the first telltale signs of a neglected house. Of course, there are some trim areas that need touch-up paint and not to be left out, the swimming pool needs a new liner.
Our new home is going to be a work in progress, it has been a beautiful house at one time, but it's fallen under severe neglect and abuse. We'll be trying to keep everyone updated with the steps we go through with this blog.
We're supposed to take ownership of the house on September 15, 2009. The people that we purchased the house from were in the process of remodeling it and had a family emergency that has caused them to sell. They had already pulled all of the carpeting out of the house, removed the plumbing fixtures from the upstairs bathroom, knocked out some walls and removed some doors. The people that had the house previous to them(and abused it) caused flooding in the basement that left mold issues. They also let the rain guttering fill with leaves, which caused dry rot problems from not draining properly, and I'm not sure why but some of the screens and storm windows are missing. Why are the screens and storm windows always abused? They're one of the first telltale signs of a neglected house. Of course, there are some trim areas that need touch-up paint and not to be left out, the swimming pool needs a new liner.
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