The world of someone with chronic pain is totally different from the one inhabited by people with healthy happy bodies. Each day is an adventure, will it be a good day or a painful day? Unfortunately you no longer enjoy the freedom that you once took for granted. Your body, that you may have neglected or overused previously is now demanding attention!
The freedom to be able to get in a car and drive to the store, shop and bring your purchases home becomes a mission of endurance that takes your complete focus. You have to marshal your resources, know your store and be prepared for the disabling pain to rear it's head at any moment.
While you may have been a bright person, strong and independent previously, pain brings you to levels of being dependent on the generosity of other's characters and actions. Most people are too busy in their lives to be too generous with anyone that requires anything extra of their time or attention. Pain is not easily detectable from person to person, so it is even a challenge for the healthy person to recognize or understand the existence or the limitations brought about by pain.
Then, add the complication of medication, while it is a godsend for dealing with the pain, it becomes the "Forest of Mists" that you now live in. The Mists of medication may snatch the very word you're searching for away from your lips or it may keep you from ever finding it to begin with, or it may capriciously put it's hands over your ears while someone is giving you "important" instructions and details or asking questions that need a response . You may have no energy or strength to do the basic things in life, showering may become the big event of your day! It limits important things like your driving abilities and even small things like your spelling. When you are trying to have a serious conversation and share what you have thought(yes, you can still think!sometimes!) the words may be there, or maybe not, causing people to give you looks of sympathy at the very best, annoyance and impatience at the worst.
Pain is very misunderstood and I believe even abused. Even being someone that has pain, I'm still suspicious of people claiming pain. When I know the person, it is easy to see the pain in their life(you can normally see it in their face), but it takes "knowing" the person to understand it. Therefore it's a challenge to understand the pain of strangers. I know my pain, but I don't know their pain!
If I'm a person living with pain and I question other peoples pain then how much more so the person that has no pain? So it's easier for me to stay home where the birds don't question my inability to find the right word, or my forgetfulness of things that I should of remembered. They are happy as long as I feed them~(**added note here, we now have dogs that don't seem to mind my long silences when all conversation is non existent, or I'm planted on the couch with no energy to do.)
**(and my husband must be a saint to tolerate the cycles of pain and medication, the repetition of questions when I forgot to listen to the answer, the forgotten chores(even dinner or what to fix for dinner), the lost items, the depression of dependence, the tears and anger of loss of independence)**
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